Gym, Cake and Dokha

Preface:

Engineering teams don't really have any fun normally either by choice or by brute force, so in our previous company one of our top managers decided to have a fundo club.

The fundoo club was so fundu that to join dat u have to contribute monthly some 500 rs and in return thy might create some interesting events like "pulling the tail"," filling the bottle " "something the something" 
This type of stringent didn't interest may software believers they kept on with their coding.Thus Fundo club attracted less than 10% supporters

The promised "innovative" events never used to happen .But one thing always used to happen in all fundu club meetings
A "big cute sexy " cake!!!, yes that was meant only for the members of fundu club.
What usually used to happen was the surface area of the cake out numbered the number of its greedy consumers.

The left over cake used to get distributed on the remaining 90% members of the global technology services group
Wao!!! Fundu cake with a little monetary risk !!!

Now Story..

Our story starts some where, some day, some place after those above events happened

Varchars,  sorry characters
One Mr Dashing , well built, energetic, handsom Guy who we lovably calls Chaddi Master( Why because for all the costumes he wear in Gym , the bottom Shorts will allways be a perpendicular lined Chaddi )
Two Mr Fast and furious Saquib Kazi
Three Myself

As usual the Fundo Cake was supplied to the bottom 90% technological inmates, every one rushed in like frustrated honey bees and finished the same.
Our Chaddi master was over smart he had some pieces well covered and concealed in his pedestrial
Please Note CM was a member of the Fundoo Club

Gym was always included in the 9hr duty which every one accepted by a popular vote
The sameday  when we[ Saq nd Myself .. will not repeat next time  so memorise who are "we"] were watching around "faces" in Gym CM seems to have become more energetic than what we saw the previous day
He was enthusiastically holding to his chaddi string and powerfully roaming around

We took out our Omniture impact calculator to find out why?
No .. no roads are leading to rome ...

CM continued his restless display of egotic .... something something .. just fill up ok ..
 Most of "them" completed the Gym so we also stopped pretending.. why wait now ....

Hot Bath and Back to seats tired and searching for something ....to eat ...
We just discussed if there some portion of the cake it would have been so nice ......

While walking to the Break Out room we realised some packets near CM pedestal
while opening our worst fears came true .the Cake ...it was der ...trying to hide itself...
We took one piece each, then one more divided into two and again...
suddenly we realised aila.... only a half remains ...oh God Only a half remains ...can u imagine ....

We ran and hide in our cubicle dreaming how CM would feel when he see the remaining of his cake ...
Now we know why he was Gymming so hard...
Not time to describe .. CM happily landed on 12th floor ..baggages are checked out ....with full of enthu ...he opens the lid of the pandora-cakebox ... many regular expressions reflected from his face we same only few ..

we couldn't hold out laughter @ our hide out...

--Cheers

There should be some moral about this story, you guys can take that as an exercise

The Rickshawala India Private Limited

Don't read again , you read it right !!! 
Rickshawals in Bangalore have lots of shares floating in "Public" , and we [banglorians] are the consumers . See how do they manage to sell 

They don't believe in meter, 
1. The Entry Load 

The first time you get into a ricksha they will look so pleasent 
ask you r new to this place 
say some Current affairs 
U will fell that ur enjoying the warm climate of bangalore but whne u reach the destination 

And you ask "Kitna Hua?" "50 Rupees Sir" 
"What i didn't even sit 5 mins in this?" 
"Sir No return Sir 50 rupees Sir" 

2. Day-2 You starts Trading 
Now you know you got cheeted yesterday 
Auto Comes !!! "EGL" "40 Rs " 
You say "20 Rs" 
Deal Fixed at "30 Rs" 

3. If you happen to Fall into bangalore @ Night or Early b4 the sun gets up 
Then you are obliged to pay them the current running Share price 

Moral of the story 
In Mumbai > Rent is High 
In Bangalore > Ricksha Rent is High so you remain Healthy [ you walk !!! ]

Back to square one - Official visit to Hewitt Associates:

Back to square one - Official visit to Hewitt Associates: 

It was a pleasing moment to meet some of the old faces!! 
Lots of astonishment was flowing past those moments ... 

The group looked too small, may be because of growth!!! 
Some looked the same showed same emotions!! 
Some showed their personal exaggerations and long lasting question marks :) 

Some looked rather showed happy to be still there.. 

But so many good positive changes 
1. Chronic bachelor Getting Married finally 
2 Technical Consultant going for lunch at sharp 1Pm 
3 Some of my colleagues saying they have to rush for an "important" training 
4 Less "attractions" around :) 
5 Forgot so many names including "Sour ..Jain" 
6 FMLA still a big bug ( "who coded that ?") 
7 PJ still shy, Mi Iy still serious 


And hey nothing above is serious !!! its was a chilling moment to be in !!!

Can "Coffee Drops" Be used for Identity Management?

Dedicated to Most Exiting Mohan Kumar aka Anna. 

“Anna” was a well known developer in Hewitt. 

When I came in to Hewitt he was religiously handling AMT Project. 
The Team used to have daily meetings mostly to discuss when will be the next meeting; we used to read stories written my Business Analysts and envisage logic on how to convert this contemporary BA artform in to a clinical masterpiece. 

Lets come to the point.. 

The printer in the far corner of the room used to continuously serve its consumers who keeps on bombarding it with documents , pdfs , pictures day –in and night –in 
Why did I say about the printer? he is the villain in this story.[ Not Me ] 

As usual we were going for the “very important” AMT meetings. 
“Anna Can you fire my print out as well “ I said to Anna with a mild tone. 
“Da Patti enthu patti ninte printerkuu ”[ What happened to your printer you my sweet dog ] 
“Its not working anna” 
“OK Not you go and get it…. Fast” 

I reached the printer, It was giving a different type of smile, I took the printout and gave a little pat on its back “Sorry to disturb you dost” 
Anna examined the printouts, the fourth page of the Absence Management Specification v3 was not clearly printed by our Villain all other pages were ok 

I suddenly took the good print; Anna snatched It from Me “Am the leader You keep this” 
Suddenly Mythily [Our Project Manager] called Anna. 
Anna had full confidence in me that I would replace the printouts. 
The “bulb” from inside clicked, so before going he took a drop of coffee and dropped on the specification. 

When Anna went I reached for his print out, suddenly my innocent eyes dragged my attention towards the coffee drop. 

“Anna you are smart? ” My DoCoMo SIM card murmured 

I suddenly created a drop in my finger tip and crash landed the shining drop on to the printout with 0.49 precessions. 
Quietly place the specification on his table and moved back to my seat just like an obedient subordinate. 

The meeting started, I managed a turning chair as opposite as possible to Anna. 
Page 1 was read at 45km/hr every one looked satisfied, page 2 and 3 at 30km/hr, every one was pretending to be listening and concentrating for the next words to come from Anna. 
“Anna What happened” 
I could see his anger gaining momentum. …rest is history ..HE snatched my [actually his ] specification 

Now present.: 

I currently works with Identity management solutions and “Coffee Drops” is not what we are using for that ..:)

Story of “Don’t argue”

“Don’t argue” is an innocent programmer in my team 
Flashback: He has lost 4 umbrellas in the company buss. 

“Light Action Camera” Don’t argue holding his 5th umbrella peacefully seated in the window seat of our Saicare muti- specialty buss. 
Multi - specialty simply because you never know when the seat you are sitting goes back leaving you a celebrity in front of others. 

“Lets come to the point” Very next to don’t argue sits a simple, humble, noble (add words ending in ‘le’) person the author of this story, its Me. 

“Krishna this is my new bag, I got it just to hold my umbrella” said DA 
“What happened?” I just made an enquiry. 
DA’s prepared for the long explanation, I could hear his face muscles twist and turn. 

“Man I lost many umbrellas, next time I won’t after much thought I brought this bag to keep my umbrellas” 

“How much is the cost?” 
“Umbrellas” asked DA 
“yep both” 
With a classic smile DA explained “umbrella is around 100 , bag near to 250” 

Scene -2 [ Powai Office 11.15 Am Tea time ] 
Some days after the incident, DA was coming into his cubicle, As usual I tried to check his hand, To my sudden excitement, there was noting in his hand. 

Exited about knowing I just inquired 
“Hey man I lot my Bag along with the umbrella some where in canteen ” a cold voice from DA 

Like an Emotionally depressed villain I said “ Don,t worry” [ not Don’t Argue ] …. “Lets find some new idea” :)

Never make Fun of an Indica

Dedication: To Hewitt Team , Mahape, Navi Mumbai 

There is no one in Hewitt who doesn’t know Kapilesh, a Capable and admirable Technical Architect. 

The story happens some years back. 
The main heroine is a Cute bubbly four legged Indica, she belongs to the loyal S-Class 1947 model.. 

During stressful days of Absence Management Tool development, Kaps used to take me in his Indica 
When we move though the nicely marbled Mahape Highway I could hear the sweet sound of bal bearings. 
To lift the window you need 2 persons, one has to press the window and the other have to turn the piston vigorously. 

Once we were about to fill the fuel from the fuel satation, Kapilesh was pressing hard to open the fuel tank value suddenly a sound from the rear end of the Indica 
“Sir maine screwdriver see khola, kuch karne ka zarurat nahi ” 
I said “Wah Kya Advanced …… Technology” 

Kapilesh used to tell me “Saale Ek din Na there ko beech me utarke javunga“ “mere car ki ethane beesathi “ 
Days passed, months also passed, our Heroine got new dress “A shining Metallic White clothing “ 

It was my last day in Hewitt 
Kapilesh told let us go to Ghodbundar Road for the last time 
We were zomming through the flyovers and reach Majiwada , the peek time of traffic. 
Suddenly it happened 
Just before the Majivada circle our Heroine Metallic white Shining Indica stopped responding to the strong Kinetic Energy provided the Diesel engine 

Hundreds of innocent Traffic creators slowly kept their hand on the Horn and created a AR Rahman type musical extravagance. 

“Now What Kaps ?” I asked as if I was a new joinee filling the Firstday application form 

“Let me try again” Tried 1- 2-3 all identical results, our heroine dint not respond. 

“Now” Me again 

“Push” “Get out and push” 
“Me” I asked,”Yes” I got out and some how managed to push it to the nearest space… 

Story Ends Moral Begins ... 

I Learned it the hard way “Never make fun of any Indica ” …

Feedback Day Feb 14

There is a lot of fuss around Feb 14 , The FriendShip day.

Some say its copied, business trick, western influence and many more..

Lets not get into an argument over it.. because an argument never ends ..

Ok.. Now straight to what we mean here ..

We can use Feb 14 as a Day for sending Feedback to any one we wish

Sounds so simple is it ...

Now Straight to Rules...

1. Feedback can be send to any set of persons you randomly choose

2. Feedback should[ rather ideal ] follow the order:

2.1 Strengths [ What you think the person really have excelled in]

2.2 Improvement Areas [ Areas you thing he needs to improve on ]

2.3 Cute Message [ Cute message to finally sum it up ]

3. Trust me genuine feedbacks do make a difference

4. And never ever expect a feed back to comeback

Turning Feb-14 into a Feedback day adds a lot of value...

I Will keep a point to write and mail feedback to some of my friends..

Hope you find this interesting as I did ,and you will finally have one Question

Why only send Feedbacks on Feb 14?

its sometimes good to have a day so that we remember It.

Cheers!!!